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1. That lesson one? Let's give him a sexy scar, huh? Colonel Blake: Well, I had planned to name Trapper Chief Surgeon, to consult on your shift and Frank's. In honor of 'M*A*S*H' star Harry Morgan, who died Wednesday, 'Extra' collected 10 of the best quotes from the long-running hit CBS show. Margaret: Oh, Frank. I never expected the son of a bitch to get up. Mash Quotes - BrainyQuote Lego allows all levels of complexity. Duke: Go to hell, Captain Pierce. I never expected the son of a bitch to get up! Were you, like, a resident, or on staff someplace? Submit a Quote from 'M*A*S*H'. Can you name the movie quote words that have been replaced by the title of the movie it appears in*? Hawkeye Pierce: I don't know, I think it's one of those Ladies' things. Captain Walter Kosciusko "Painless Pole" Waldowski, D.D.S. That one. Trapper: So are you, sweetheart, but you don't know it. And then give me at least one nurse who knows how to work in close without getting her tits in my way. As with past M*A*S*H sets, viewers have the preferred option of viewing the episodes without the intrusive laugh track. One of the most commercially and critically successful series in American television history, M*A*S*H is — to quote its lead character, Hawkeye Pierce — "finest kind". Sgt. M*A*S*H continues to walk the scalpel's edge between hilarious comedy ("Too Many Cooks," "April Fools") and powerful drama ("Heal Thyself, in which a visiting doctor suddenly suffers a break down, and "Guerilla My Dreams," which climaxes with a tense standoff between the doctors, who have saved the life of a wounded female Korean guerilla, and the North Korean officer hellbent on executing her. Unlike the good doctors of the 4077 (otherwise known as "this hellhole" and "sewer"), M*A*S*H shows little signs of fatigue in its eighth season. His splendid two-part send-off sets the stage for one of the season's best episodes, the Emmy-nominated "Period of Adjustment," in which Klinger (Jamie Farr) must begin to make the role of company clerk his own, and family man B.J. Trapper: It's not like her to act like this. Besides she's-- I'll bet she's not a real blonde. Among her best episodes is "Are You Now, Margaret?" Captain McEntire: "I though you were Frank's bag!" Quotes [first lines] Lt. Col. Henry Braymore Blake: Radar. Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan [to Hawkeye] I like to think of the army as my home. Hawkeye: Frank Burns has gone nuts! A bunch of the boys asked me to, uh, ask you, Frank, what Hot Lips was like in the sack. Get him off me! Test your knowledge on this movies quiz and compare your score to others. I mean, does she go "ooooh" or does she lie there quiet and not do anything at all? Duke: I'll not only say it, but I'll back it with 20 bucks. Col. Potter: Is that so?Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it. Heard from your wife? fyeahmash I want that one, yes. Trapper Painless Polish Day in the shower tent? I will ask. Hawkeye Pierce: I'm Dr. Jekyll, actually, and this is my friend, Mr. Hyde. I'm going to go back to my bed, I'm going to put away the best part of a bottle of scotch... and under normal circumstances, you being normally what I would call a very attractive woman, I would have invited you back to share my little bed with me you might possibly have come. Discover and share Mash Radar Quotes. I'll get ahold of Major Burns... Lt. Col. Henry Braymore Blake: I want you to get a hold of Major Burns... Cpl. “What I say is that, if a man really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow.” ― A.A. … Trapper John: I dunno. I must be losing my punch. She's a bitch, look at my new flannel coat. mhfine.wav(65K) mhfine.mp3(65K) mhfine.m4r(iPhone ringtone). No. Captain John McIntyre: Yeah! You know I damn near puke every time I look at her. 26 Apr. Hawkeye Pierce: Someone get that dirty old man out of this operating theater. Radar: No sir, that's the one he came in. . I mean you're what we call a regular army clown. [Frank Burns leaps over the mess table and tackles Hawkeye]. And then when he died, they did an autopsy, and they found out that he was a raving queen. Hawkeye: [after discovering a patient that is a baby] Boy, did his draft board go crazy! Something tells me I've seen her someplace before. Duke: I'm kind of partial to blonde myself. You know, was she... Hawkeye Pierce: No Frank, you know, is she better than self-abuse? Famous Mash Quotes Quotable Quotes “What happens in the event that figure ‘A’ is attracted to figure ‘B’ and wants to get married. What would you say about that? Hawkeye Pierce: or does she go "uh-uh-uh"? And it went sailing . Captain John McIntyre: I hate to ask what's on the other side. I got a twix from headquarters about you... says you stole a jeep. [watching old home movies] That's Milt Jaffe, the gynecologist from next door. Hawkeye: I’m too frightened to be scared. Duke: Go to hell, Captain Pierce. That man is a sex maniac; I don't think Hot Lips satisfied him. Duke Forrest: What's going on, Frank? You’re so above average. Duke: [To Hawkeye] Is there some reason I shouldn't know which hospital? Father Mulcahy: Well, what is it? Col. Potter: You know, I never got the chance to tell you how much Margaret means to us.We couldn't run this place without her. Can you imagine what it feels like to walk by this tent and hear you laughing and know I'm not welcome? I think maybe ol' Walt's going on into the unknown to do a little recon work for us all. And this friend only pretended to like … The sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes. Hawkeye Pierce: Get him off me! But you really put me off. Colonel Blake: Hot Lips, you incredible nincompoop. I've eaten so much liver, I can only make love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions." I wish they wouldn't land those things here while we're playing golf. Judson: Bastard, 88, called me a coon. But we're putting whoever's in command on report for yet again not managing to stitch together any kind of cast commentary, interviews, or archival goodies. Hot Lips: Oh, Frank, my lips are hot. Goddamn army. He volunteered for certain death. Revealing mistake: Near the end of the film, there is a football game played between the rival MASH units. Then bring me the latest pictures on him. M*A*S*H (stylized on-screen as MASH) is a 1970 American black comedy war film directed by Robert Altman and written by Ring Lardner Jr., based on Richard Hooker's 1968 novel MASH: A Novel About Three Army Doctors.The picture is the only theatrically released feature film in the M*A*S*H franchise, and it became one of the biggest films of the early 1970s for 20th Century Fox. Hawkeye: Duke, did I ever tell you how Androscoggin College beat Dartmouth in a raging blizzard, six to nothing, because I intercepted a pass? Does that- does that big ass of hers move around a lot, Frank or does it sort of lie there flaccid? Hawkeye Pierce: Morning Frank. 2021. Good-bye. War is war, and Hell is Hell. Duke: What's going on, Frank? And he had an average of about a hundred and twenty, a hundred and thirty foals a year, and he lived to be thirty-six. Trapper: Well, what, are those guys waiting to scrub his back or something? M*A*S*H (Movie) Quotes. So you go find the gas-passer and you have him pre-medicate this patient. No booze. Nurse: How do you want your steak cooked? The following personnel are permanently assigned to the M*A*S*H 4077: Alan Alda as Hawkeye, Mike Farrell as B.J. And then when he died, they did an autopsy, and they found out that he was a raving queen. It's an insane asylum. × Close. Maj. Trapper John: Here! You put me right off my fresh fried lobster, do you realize that? STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Hawkeye: You have yourself a bet, sir. Hawkeye: They had this great passer, see? No food. Hawkeye: I knew it! That lesson one? Hawkeye: That's what we award our highest medals for. Kiss my hot lips. Duke: Now then, y'all come here to say your final farewell to ol' Walt here. All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz). Hawkeye: I'm Dr. Jekyll, actually. Duke Forrest: Colonel, fair's fair... if I punch Hawkeye and nail Hot-Lips, can I go home too? “Anyone who needs psychiatry is sick in the head.” Being the cliche stick-in-the-mud military officer, … The sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes. Hawkeye: Get him off me! Capt. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly: Yes, sir. Duke Forrest: What're you gonna do, Henry? I don't think Hot Lips satisfied him. And it's your fault. I knew you had a-- had an attraction for Hot Lips Houlihan. Here! Fool! "MASH Quotes." Hawkeye Pierce: Jesus Christ, I think he means it. We'll give you details on who said it, when they said it, and in some cases, why on earth they thought it was okay to say it. Sex. Take her clothes off and bring her to me. Hawkeye: Those are the vows you make when you're with somebody. Charles: Klinger, you are a gentleman and a lady. in which she is accused of being a communist sympathizer. Trapper John: Well, what's the matter with her today? Hawkeye: She can't even get out of the door. Hawkeye: I knew it! Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: [Milt's very attractive wife comes up on screen] Ohh! [She stomps off]. Hawkeye Pierce: Frank Burns has gone nuts! 2. Here are some notable quotes from the show: "Did you ever show me any kind of friendship? My motto is that simple." Quotes.net. Bring me some sex. That man is a sex maniac. I am the pro from Dover, and this is my favorite caddy. Colonel Blake: Hot Lips, you incredible nincompoop! I'm wearing glasses, for God's sake! Baby we're gonna see some stitching like you never saw before. Bring her to me. Hawkeye: I just-- I just wanna say one thing. Radar: Oh, nobody does, sir. We are the Pros from Dover and we figure to crack this kid's chest and get out to golf course before it gets dark. Hotlips O'Houlihan: Oh my God! I've seen you somewhere before. Pompous Charles Emerson Winchester III (David Ogden Stiers) gets his "Of course I care" episode when he tends to a classical pianist who has lost the use of his hands in "Morale Victory." Who am I? They can built a pirate ship, for example, and then mash it up with completely different things. Did you ever once ever offer me a lousy cup of coffee?" [She turns to leave and bumps into Nurse] Oh! Judson: [Sung for Painless] Suicide is painless / it brings on many changes / and I can take or leave it / if I please ... TV Quotes Movie Forums. Duke: No, I mean, what were you doing? “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happy Hour.”. Capt. Oliver Harmon "Spearchucker" Jones was a surgeon who appears in the MASH novel by Richard Hooker, the MASH movie and also in the M*A*S*H television series. Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: Oh, that's handy. Take her clothes off and bring her to me now. Colonel Blake: Well, don't believe them then, General. Edit Tab 1 Hero Select 1.1 Original 1.2 Dragon Armor 2 Hero Move 3 Hero Skill 4 Hero Ult 5 Hero Death "Everyone has a beast within." Familiar characters reveal new sides of themselves and the series itself performs some radical surgery on sitcom convention. This time there's going to be disciplinary action. Hawkeye Pierce: No sir, no, I didn't steal it. It's the end of the quarter. Spearchucker: Why don't you do the same thing to him? Gorman: Goddamn army. Oh come off it, MAJOR! Colonel Blake: Yeah, but now I can't do it for at least a week. No, no, no, that one. I've got glasses. View Quote Cpl. Would you say that she was a moaner, Frank? Hawkeye: Oh, baby! Colonel Blake: What the hell's gotten into you? No, it's right outside. Web. I'm wearing glasses, for god's sake. The MASH concept was simple: The hospitals were located close enough to the front lines to serve wounded soldiers, but far enough away that they weren’t in … Steak would be even better. 73 Welcome to Korea Attention. Oh, kiss my hot lips! Hawkeye Pierce: She can't even get out of the door, look. You put me right off my fresh fried lobster, do you realize that? Goddamn army jeep. Old Tv Shows Best Tv Shows Best Shows Ever Favorite Tv Shows Movies And Tv Shows Mash 4077 Tv Quotes Movie Quotes The Lone Ranger The love/hate relationship between Frank Burns and Klinger. Painless: Your f***in' head is coming right off, pal. "My fist is always the right answer for the dark questions." Hotlips O'Houlihan: This isn't a hospital. [the starter's pistol goes off at the football game]. : I wasn't gonna fool around out here because I got these three girls I'm engaged to back home. Hawkeye: No, no. Have you always had that mustache? She's a bitch. [in the middle of sex] Oh, Frank, strangle me! You have the rare privilege that happens on certain occasions to chief executives of states or nations. It's difficult to talk about, you see, because I learned about his problem in confession. Gen. Hammond: Yeah, yeah, we put up a few bets, five thousand maybe, and have a little fun. He was portrayed by Fred Williamson in the movie and by Timothy Brown , who also played the part of corpsman Corporal Judson in the film.. The end of the hospital three girls I 'm smothered in bacon onions. My new flannel coat tired of you can you imagine what it feels like to walk by this and. You realize that from headquarters about you... says you stole mash movie quotes jeep lie there?! Clothes off and bring her to me the football game played between the rival mash units any of..., but I 'll back it with 20 bucks ] I 'd dearly love to see in. 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